Tag Archives: Love

Mother’s Day: Awareness of Self

Joe Rachel and Me 20082009

I receive wonderful gifts on Mother’s Day. Since my children have come into this world, what I receive on Mother’s Day has been beyond anything I ever imagined before their existence.

Mother’s Day is always lovely for me and I am grateful.

Without saying to you that every day is Mother’s Day for me, I will tell you that every day has been Mother’s Day since September 4, 1990 at 2 in the afternoon. Easy? No. Walton’s happy? Forget it, JohnBoy.

Richer, more satisfying, more frustrating, more heartbreaking, more heart lifting,

My children are the reason I am here, digging in and determined to do what I love – what I am uniquely qualified for.

I’m not doing it for them, I’m doing it because I’ve gotten the tools from raising them and them raising me. (Don’t judge my grammar!)

Raising them was another part of the awareness puzzle. Early on I decided I didn’t want my children to grow up in the unpredictable, shame-riddled, rage-filled household I did. To even come close to accomplishing this I had to be constantly aware of my emotions and vigilante enough to catch myself before launching into familiar conditioned responses.

My children taught me about baggage that doesn’t belong to me. I’m finally learning to integrate this into my life. My children taught me that is really is ok to make mistakes. I learned about family from my children. I learned not to whine – I wouldn’t accept whining from them so they don’t accept whining from me. It’s only fair!

I learned that sometimes my best just isn’t good enough. That can be incredibly uncomfortable, but if I truly have done my best, it is all I can do.

I learned that people have more potential than I can know by looking at them and at times even they don’t know what they’re capable of until called upon.

I learned that if I am open to hearing, seeing and feeling, I will find out who someone is.

I learned that no matter how much I want something or think I’m right – I may be right – but getting what I want or being validated may not be the work I need to do.

A lesson I learned when they were quite young, but didn’t carry it into the rest of my life until recently: situations and people are going to be what they are. If I want something different, I have to go somewhere different or I have to look in a different way.

And ofcourse I learned about all the crap we carry with us over the years. It’s with that awareness that my children know me. They know who I am, where I came from. They know that I respect them as human beings first. The know about the flaws. They’ve seen me fall down and get up again. They know that no matter what they do, I will love them more than I had any idea I could love anyone. They know that I will not manipulate them out a need for control. They know that I will let them fall down, because I know they can get up. I would love to¬† think, and tell you that I haven’t made any mistakes. I don’t believe that’s even possible.

I’ve taken them along on my journey, they’ve discovered as I’ve discovered. That’s not to say we all processed in the same way or at the same time. The 3 of us will receive as much as we can, in the time we can and will use it when we are ready.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Sensation of Change – the 28-Day Challenge

Challenge Play More

Day 1

I used to say “I love a challenge!”. A friend of mine suggested that I be careful what I wish for. True words, those.

The fact is that I can rarely resist a challenge. I’ve gotten myself into all kinds of trouble stepping into challenges. (Let me be clear that by challenges I don’t just mean can I climb that mountain, run that race, more like can I move my friend before her mother comes home and kills us both.)

This year I’ve committed to a challenge that is good for me. It will serve and support my purpose of helping others to improve the quality of their lives by reconnecting to their bodies through awareness and movement in order to heal body mind, heart and spirit.

I’m calling it the Soma Ranch 28-Day Challenge. It is the brain child of Nia trainer and entrepreneur Helen Terry. For more information from Helen on the 28-Day Challenge and her fabulous Soma Ranch, please visit http://www.somaranch.com.

It goes like this:

Pick one or two changes you want to make in your life. If they’re big changes, break them down into small steps so that the process doesn’t become overwhelming. This is a one day at a time proposition.

Adding in my part:

It’s not about accomplishing your goals in 28 days. It’s about setting up the environment and developing the good habits that will foster accomplishing your goals. This 28 days is a nest building time. Every day you’ll practice something small that will move you forward. No busy work here. One of my favorite suggestions in terms of self-development is from a book called The Slight Edge written by Jeff Olsen and it is to read 10 pages of a GOOD book every day. Unless your goal is to be a novelist, this suggestion doesn’t mean read a good novel, it means read 10 pages of a work that will grow you – teach you something that will move you forward towards your goal.

Here’s a big part of this (as far as I’m concerned it’s huge)

Read your 10 pages (or whatever small step you just finished) and then sit for a moment and congratulate yourself for your accomplishment. I’M TOTALLY SERIOUS! Give yourself some love. Breathe it in. Let in settle into your bones. Not pride, love.

Ok, time’s up!

My challenges:

To move through daily:

1. a Nia/5Rhythms/focused improvisational class

2. to write rich content daily – even if it’s just a couple of words and whether or not I post it

3. to gradually reduce the amount of sugar in my diet

4. and yes, read 10 pages of a good book. My good book is An Unspoken VoiceHow the Body Releases Trauma and Restores to Goodness by Peter A. Levine, PhD

Here’s my clincher:

5. to speak about what I do and my purpose

I’m a Nia teacher, so moving is not too tough. With developing Movement Alchemy I’ve gotten away from my daily personal practice so #1 brings me back. For #2 I love to write, this is a way to fine tune my discipline. #3 is because I am addicted to sugar. I feel lousy when I eat it in amounts I do around the holidays and I know that I have to create change in very small increments around this so that I will feel better. #4 is easy, in theory. There are few things I love to do as much as I love to read, but with my schedule I can actually go a few days without reading, so this is a reminder.

#5 is the spider, the bogey man in the closet, my Mount Everest – makes me nauseous just thinking about it. Small steps. Write it down. Say it to myself. Say it to my children. Say it to my close friends. Say it to my other friends ;> Say it to my classes. Rinse and repeat. By the end of 28 days my challenge is to have created a comfort level – of some sort – that gives me a foundation for speaking confidently about what I do.

Need some ideas?


Challenge Car Free

Challenge Dance for No Reason

2. Dance for No Reason!

Challenge Dont Complain

3. Challenge yourself to Complain Less and Keep a Tab.

4. Keep a What I’ve Done Today Journal!

Challenge Play More5. Play More!

Helen encourages a running commentary on this process and I do the same. Comment on Helen’s site, comment here, comment on Fb if you like. Don’t keep this to yourself. Make it public – commit out loud. To keep it to yourself keeps you from being accountable and I know for myself that I never accomplish anything that way. It also prevents you from receiving support.

Besides, you never know when and how your experience may be of help to someone else with a similar challenge.

Happy Day 1!