Tag Archives: Be

STOP!

Yin Yang B 10 Tree of Life

In a previous post, I wrote about BE-ing and creating a balance with DO-ing.

I am here to take my own advice and BE what I say. Walk the talk.

During the past month I have found myself in a mind jam. Much, much, much going on! Half a dozen projects to work on! (I do so love projects.) Music to map and choreograph, books to read, absorb and practice from, speeches to write , practice and deliver, 7 or 8 Nia classes to teach,  blah, blah, blah. Oh, yea, and posts to write.

I’ve DONE all the above, except the one that requires stillness, quiet and rich introspect. That would be the post writing – just in case you weren’t sure!

Experiences whirling around me. Sensations rushing through me. Emotions heightened, speaking in clear voices and in voices I have to strain (or quiet) to understand.  Discoveries arriving and departing without full and conscious acknowledgment. Yes, present to a conversation, but allowing it to be a filable item, not integrated.

All without gratitude.

Frankly, this past month has been a time management and organizational mess and I had to quiet myself in writing this to find the root of the “mess”.

Exactly.

Quiet.

I had to stop.

To Be in my life. To truly live my life.

Rather than the whirling, rushing, straining, striving, arriving, departing and general airport-ness of late, Stop.

Wait. In relaxed awareness. Listen. To what whispers. Look. And see. Be still. And be fully present.

How about those neutrinos?!

Feeling my own vibration; the rhythm that is my way to Be in my life. Inviting the rushing by to become a washing over – Be-ing in the moment, not watching its taillights.

The ability to multitask does not serve me here. Perhaps it is a skill best reserved for rare occasions. I touch many “things” but with no real sense of discrimination. I do not, can not see deeply. In the maelstrom I cannot learn. There is no receiving only an outpouring of energy.

Balance is not to be found in the constant outpouring of energy. Balance will be found in receiving so that I will not find myself gasping for air;  weary in body, mind, spirit and emotions; overwhelmed by the smallest endeavors.

BE-ing. Nourishment for the whole self.

Awareness and Sensation of Experience

Ralph Waldo Emerson suggested, “The law of nature is, Do the thing and you shall have the power: but they who do not the thing have not the power.”

The only way to do it is to do it.

The only way to experience something is to go through the experience.

We speak of living vicariously through another, but the truth is that it isn’t living at all.

When the time is right.

Tell me what it’s like.

The only way to have it is to go and get it.

DO it. BE in it. ALL of it.

Are You My Dance?

I am a movement chameleon.

Nocturnal. Dark dweller. Shadow nimble. Twilight agile.

It is with unabashed curiosity, pleasure and the barely-contained, irresistible urge to slip into the danceskin of another that I lose myself for a moment. Here, lost in another, I am never more fully in my own.

Mmm, it is walking with feet of melting rubber that bring me closer to the brilliance of “us” that I so desire. The angle of the sternum. Bridge of spine. Liquid chain. It is coming.

The world you stand in melts away as I see into another. This one vestibular; symbolic and code.

Hollow, transient, rushing, dark, rigid, yielding, engrossed and divergent comes the whisper “dance that!”

Head. “Heart.” Pelvis/”Gut”.

Head. Pelvis. My dance is here.

The world of detail breathes softly in the background until I lift the veil.  Heightened sensation tells me a story and  I am reminded of my body history.  Within the discomfort of illumination come new lessons in my design and how to use my energy. Sensation pours around me and through me, giving me subtle and not-so-subtle cues and clues.

Cues (head) transmit information bites that are pure and without judgment. “Sharp pain”, “loose”, “unstable”, “flow”, “stuck”.  Clues (pelvis) nudge me to zoom in more closely to receive the chance to unravel new moves. “Revisit that arm and shoulder move and notice where you hold the head of your humerus in your shoulder joint.”

Immersed in this ocean I can swim, decisively moving my body through liquid sensation or I can float and be moved.

Swimming charges me past in order to land me forward – a-head. I don’t know what there was. To feel. To hear. To see. To learn. To love. I don’t know what I might have received.

In Being moved I find the new places. In Being moved I feel the swells – I am the swells as the ocean changes her mind. In Being moved my dance, my life moves through me. Connected. Deeply interwoven. One.

In partnership, in collaboration and with agreement: my life will not go on without me and I will not go on without it.

The trying-on is done. With small, fascinated touch or too-big, ungainly attempts at what is not quite mine, it is sensuality that leads me to wholeness. It is this work, this pleasure, this stirring connection of cells in conscious symphony that bring me back home…

Not to be lead by my head or “heart” or pelvis – but by all.

From the mud, coal-black, sticky, warm and pungent comes

my whole

my own

my spirit

my joy

I Am My Dance.

(Photograph by Daniela Paunova)