“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,

because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who know great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;

who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…”

excerpt from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech “Citizenship in a Republic

(Daring Greatly by Brene’ Brown)

What if you spent the entire day doing everything wrong?

“Wrong” might give you results you didn’t even know you were after! But I’m getting ahead of myself.

We, as a culture are seriously into perfection. The funny – really poignant and sad reality is that perfect doesn’t exist. Like so many of our other social constructs – it is conceptual hell.

Perfection only exists in concept or in theory and exists to make us miserable. Before we go any further, I feel compelled to provide the following disclaimer: concepts cannot make us do anything. We are responding to a lifetime of conditioning and we do have a choice. End of disclaimer.

For myself, there are certain areas in which I hear my ego yelling things like, “why can’t you do that already – you’ve seen somebody do it once”, or “your supposed to be a dancer…”, “what is taking you so long?!?!?!”.

Through my Nia practice and my experience as a mother I have learned to accept some things. First, every different piece of information I received is processed in a different way and in relative time. Second, I might be able to do it the first or second time around but to be able to do it and dig it takes time and a beautiful concept called embodiment.

Every time I define myself I put limitations on the future. The “I ams” put me neatly in the box, slam the lid and tie a pretty bow. To Robyn, for that, I am eternally grateful.

My point, is that being wrong is completely out of the question – for anyone – at any time. Anyone see a problem – or an opportunity here?!

What is the value of life?

Let’s make this interactive.

I’m going to leave it here and give you time to leave an answer in the comments, in an email or on Fb – wherever you’re comfortable.

Unless you specify otherwise, I will not share your name, though I may very well reference your response. If you leave a comment on this site, it will be public – just so you know for sure.

If I get no response, I will write anyway.

What do you say?

I am present. I am quiet. I am still.

I am present to the knowledge that every move I make is made up of smaller, micro moves. I slip through every moment, mindfully, consciously – with Awareness.

I invite my Spine to float softly upwards, creating Volume and Space in all of my joints for Ease, Relaxation, Functionality and Pleasure.

With quiet precision, I am present to my structure – my framework. I am conscious of where my Body is in space. I am connecting to the Wisdom and Intelligence of my Body.

Stillness and Strength from within. Organic, and tactile I am soft, supple, open and curious. Awake to sensation, I am within the subtle, the reflective and the gentle that leads to Healing.

I feel. I hear. I taste. I touch. I smell. I see. I sense. I receive. I transmit. I know. I adapt. I grow. I heal.

Are you thinking straight?

Why?

Would crooked thinking be more fun?!?!

How about no thinking at all?!?!

What if, you spend an entire 60 seconds not thinking?

While you’re not likely to stop your mind from thinking, you can put Mind Muffs on. That way your thoughts are muffled enough so that you can pay little or no attention. Instead, listen to your “gut” – or your heart.

You haven’t stopped thinking – you’re just thinking from a different place. Are you giggling?!

Thinking = information. Information generally requires some sort of conduit to get from origin to insertion. Is mind thinking our only conduit? Since our mind cannot think pain (that’s a brain thing), how about “No”. What about that feeling about someone and the phone rings and they’re on the other end? Take a look at your child or someone you love more than yourself – heart thinking? We are more than mind, skin, bones and muscle.

It is different “thinking”. It is thinking without ‘reasoning things out’. It is thinking without excuses. It is knowing because you know.  This is Body Thinking.

There is no indecisiveness, unless you mind horns in and starts telling stories.

There are no ‘what ifs’, ‘I wonder whys’ or ‘guessing’. Once you trust this different thinking, life looks simpler. Life isn’t complicated.  We get in our heads and make it complicated.

Body Thinking.

How about Body Talking? Yea, fine, also known as Body Language!

Have you ever paid attention to what your body does when your mouth is going? Pay attention the next time you’re having a conversation. Don’t change anything, just observe. What did you notice? Is your body and mind in agreement? In other words, as you were saying “yes, ofcourse, we would love to have you for dinner”, were you shaking your head as though indicating ‘no’? Were you leaning into or away from the person? Were you inviting this person for dinner with your entire being – or just your mouth (or mind that tells you, you “should”)?

Our communication is frequently unclear or we may say things that we don’t mean. Our mind speaks from lifelong conditioning. It’s not appropriate, it’s conditioning. It’s no surprise then that our relationships are unclear, without deep truth and fraught with misunderstanding.

What is the sensation in your body? During your next conversation, pay attention to the sensations your body is sending you. Pay particular attention to the primary sensation. In other words what’s the big thing you’re feeling? Is your heart pounding? Are you about to vomit? The uncontrollable desire to run like hell – and maybe even scream some as you do the running?! Is something telling you not to give this person the information they’re asking for?

We are conditioned to be polite, often at the expense of our emotional and physical safety. As children, it is expected that we are obedient and do as we’re told.  Even when it feels wrong. When we are young it is our bodies that tell us we are not safe. We don’t yet have the real life experience for our minds to draw from. Our bodies are telling us that sitting that close to Uncle Roy isn’t safe, but mom is telling us that it will hurt his feeling if we don’t. Our feelings are invalidated. It is clearly communicated that what our bodies tell us isn’t valid, true, acceptable, worthy. It isn’t polite.

Very shortly we believe it and we stop paying attention to our Body Talk.

We put duct tape over and around one of our conduits so that the sparks are no longer felt.

We begin to rely on our minds to tell us what is safe, what is the wisest decision, who we should have in our lives. Our mind, that creates and imagines and dreams and processes constantly. The same mind that tells lies as easily as truths – and we can’t tell the difference. They’re our thoughts so they must be true – we thought it – is it true? Your body will tell you if it’s true. The body doesn’t lie.

Spend those 60 seconds with Body Thinking.

Then spend the duration of your next conversation with your Mind Muffs on and just listen.

During the conversation after that one,  listen with your MMs on while also paying attention to the sensations in your body.

After that, notice what your body is doing as a result of those sensations. Is what your body’s doing in agreement with what you’re saying? If not, why not?

Begin to go longer with your MMs on. Once volume of your Body Talk is equal with the volume of your mind, you won’t need the MMs anymore. You will be more fully engaged. When you are in conversation with another it will be with your entire self as opposed to a lax body under moving jaws. You are activated. Aware. Alive!

So stop thinking straight!

Voice. Disposition. Intelligence. Wisdom.

Four traits that offer insight into the Nature of Your body.

It’s 7:55pm central time – do you know where your body is?

Seriously. Quick, without looking, where is your body in space? How do your parts and pieces feel? Are you holding tension? Where?

Now that you are in your body…

No matter how much energy we are prepared to put into an endeavor, it is always a pleasant surprise to discover  that we can move forward with less effort than expected.

What do you think would happen if, the next time the energy output was as high or higher than expected, you put forth less effort than your mind told you to deliver. You would come up short, right? Maybe not.

Your mind is always active, processing. moving forward with information it may or may not have with any degree of accuracy. What I’m saying is that everything the mind says is not necessarily accurate or true. Especially if you find yourself “wondering”, “figuring” and making decisions based on information yo don’t actually have.

You know the charming expression about making assumptions, right? That little gem is not only referring to people around you, but also about making assumptions about your body. We cannot be in someone else’s head, so we must ask questions if we want to have their truth – their story and we must rely on them to speak from a place of truth rather than a place of defensiveness, fear or mistrust. The upside is that we live in our bodies every day so knowing how we work and what works for us is available all the time and should be easy (assumption!). The downside is that culture encourages and even demands that we disconnect from our bodies for a myriad of unhealthy reasons in order to fit in.

There is a danger in disconnection. If no relationship exists, we are less likely to protect, to defend, to empathize, to love or to care for. Abuse is far more likely when there is little or no connection – with our bodies, with our spirits, with others and with the world and the Earth.

Relationships rely on communication. Kinesthetic, intuitive as well as verbal. Any relationship is only as strong and healthy as its communication. If one is speaking and the other not listening, there will be difficulty. Pay attention to your body and listen for comfort. If your body is not comfortable, make a change until it tells you it has reached comfort.

In any relationship there is give and take, transmitting and receiving.  And like any relationship, it is important to those involved to feel heard and to trust what they are saying will be received with respect and love. Agreement is also lovely. If you and your body agree, you might be surprised at what happens.

The language of the body is sensation. The sense used to realize sensation is awareness. Pay attention.

When you’re moving your body, take a session and feel your way through the moves. You may have to slow down. You may have to turn off your iPod, or tv so that you can hear. You will possibly have to stop moving here and there to hear deeply and to digest the information your body’s giving you. You must move for yourself. If you’re producing movement according to the rules of others or if you’re concerned about how you look to others, you will not hear.

I’m asking you to do two things we don’t much like doing: be quiet and be still. Very yin.

You listen. You hear. You act.

Your action can be to either demand what you want from your body and create an adversarial relationship or you can let your body tell you how to get the best from her or him (I really struggle with using “it” when referring to the body in a personal way).

Demand. Force. Dominate. Grind. Overcome. Transmit only. Punishment. Struggle. Pain as pleasure. Effort. High level of energy required.  To be successful this way more often than not requires that we disconnect from sensation in order to be able to tolerate what is being done to the body and how that feels. We disconnect more often then we might think. Am I being judgmental? Yep. I’ve been working in fitness for almost 20 years. I used to teach people how to do this. I used to put my body and the body of others through all of this in the name of fitness, performance and even health.

I have a very high threshold for pain. In the past it was an egotistical source of pride. It’s a  fabulous trait for getting through alot of pain that must be endured, like childbirth, but for living in a body constantly alive with sensation, a high threshold for pain is an obstacle. Just because I can endure it and even function through it – should I? Why should I? Will enduring pain really improve my performance? Will damaging my body improve my performance? What’s it doing to my body in terms of continuing to move as I get older? How will damage affect longevity? Why is it ok to damage my body – to be in self-inflicted pain much of the time?

What if? Instead? We…

Listen. Wait. Collaborate. Explore. Soften. Transmit and receive. Cooperate. Pleasure as pleasure. Less effort.

What’s gonna happen?