T R U S T
My word for a beautiful and enriching weekend experience.
A word that fills me with trepidation and a thorny, trouble-hinting sensation that fills my head with word smack!
T R U S T
Mental Roadblock.
Sensation Obstacle.
Habitual Distraction.
Mind Tangles.
Addictive. Alluring. Familiar. Available.
Self T R U S T
I found the place – the great big, brilliantly lit ballroom full of what pulls me away from what is possible. It is in this room that I lose my body to all but a thrumming. All I can hear is the fear, doubt and excuses screaming across the surround sound that is my personal theatre.
I can carefully place my feet where I am sure they will not wobble. Nor will they grow stronger.
Safe and Sound and Small.
Dead Horses.
The demons can scream themselves hoarse. They’re only words. Merely images birthed by the past. Walk through them – they fall away. They are only as real as I invite and allow them to be. Most of them don’t even belong to me; someone else’s baggage. And now mine – how sweet and generous.
Wait a minute.
ONLY mine if I agree and accept.
I don’t think I want to do that anymore.
I will trust myself…
to get it right
to get it right-ish
to get it wrong
to get it flaming, I-can’t-apologize-or-dig-my-way-out-of-this-one wrong
to have moments of brilliance
and moments of
more brilliance.
Yes, yes and moments of less brilliance.
Thank you Julie F for working the click out of me and thank you Jill for guiding me to empty.
There’s a Part Two coming…
A very big WOW. I am deeply touched. Your words always take me deep within myself. I look around to see if there is any recognition of the things are so palpably felt through your words. Love and Fear. For me these are the two recognizable transformative powers in the Universe. I love the vision of a ballroom, brightly lit — appropriate for a dancer! I suspect though that a brightly lit ballroom thrumming with the cacophony of feelings, sensations and sounds could be frightening. I admire your dance through life and I’m delighted to be dancing with you!
Love and Fear are at the heart of everything. Sweeping statement, but every day I find more for the list. The time I spent with you and with you and Frank was highly stimulating. Some very plain things that were “pointed” out for my consideration (imagine ‘consideration’ as peeking from between my fingers!). I’m still searching for the words worthy of my experience Saturday. I’ve rarely felt so completely accepted. I also felt spoiled and pampered and drawn back. All of that allowed me to empty and face this part of the dance. You are a light unto yourself (a sparkly, shimmery luminous light, of course!!). Your home and what you’ve built with love is a lighthouse.