Awareness of Exquisite Awareness of Awareness of Nothing

Drum Kit Empty But for Potential

Yesterday was a momentous day – did you not feel it? Did the ground beneath you not vibrate even the tiniest?

Did the air not make it easier for you to breath – even if just for a split second?

I am in afterglow.

Until this morning I had not found the words. This morning I read a Facebook post by my friend, Black belt sister, visionary life poet and vocalist extraordinaire Beth Noelle (did I overdo it a bit? GOOD!). Beth shared Nothing’s Gonna Change Your World, the blog post by Riikka Rajamaki and published by http://www.rebellesociety.com/2013/03/29/nothings-gonna-change-your-world/

and the rains came and the words poured forth – even before I had finished reading.

Purpose has little to do with society. I’ve been searching for this statement.

I have spent recent time wanting something so badly I could throw up. Wanting something so badly, I was ready to lose myself again. The greatest gift was that I didn’t get it. What I got was exquisite awareness.

After a lifetime of blurred identity; of keeping up. After a lifetime of flinching whenever speaking my own name.

When I let go of the ‘shoulds’, when I agreed to no longer agree. When I stepped into another level of the ‘walk’. When I chose to no longer puppet for someone else’s demons (I’ve plenty of my own, thank you very much!). When I let my eyes close and breath leave me.

Only when I could see nothing in front of me, was there something to see.

Only when I let my self do what, at least for now, I’m here to do was there something to do.

Yesterday I completed creation on The Alchemy of Awareness (The Gift of Intimacy) – Body Awareness.

I completed it just before I sent it out in it’s Week 5 installment to the 13 fearless and generous souls who not only agreed to this trial, but paid me for it!!

While I hope it was brilliant and life-changing, I will not be disappointed if it is not. It is here and here it can blossom. I have come to the realization, without arrogance or defensiveness, that what I shared could not have been received through a degree. The highest caliber schools would have set me on a different path where there is no nothing and the volume is up too high. This I had to come to on my own. This is the value of life.

Lofty, grand words aren’t they? No. They are basic – life in it’s simplest terms. That is what my work is about. Base? Animal? Instinctive? Intelligent? Out of the realm of the cerebral? It is none of those. It is all of those.

For those of you who truly value life – this Bud’s for you. HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.

For those of you who want to explore life on a nothing level – this work is for you. If you haven’t got time – you missed the point.

This is the BE-ing.

No trying. No striving. No DO-ing.

If you want something, go get it – by not. Do the preparation with the intention of expansion. While you prep for this, at what you arrive may look different.

What you need will never be yours until you don’t need it anymore.

Nothing, indeed, is going to change my life.

Thank you, Beth.

 

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