When we last spoke, we were on the precipice of opportunity…
An opportunity to explore the much feared wrong-being; mistake-making; failure-doing. Otherwise known as the opportunity to learn new stuff.
The opportunity might be that as humans, we are wrong possibly more than we’re right – that is simply a state of our existence.
As young children we don’t give a fig about being wrong. We ask tons and tons of questions all the time. I never talked so much as I did when my children were little! When kids get into school other kids don’t tell them they’re wrong, they tell them they’re stupid. That’s a little different, but it’s a start on our way to wrongaphobia or atychiphobia, the fear of failure.
As we grow up the color drains from our lives and experiences and decisions become black and white, right or wrong and the only answers are yes or no. It also becomes less socially acceptable to ask questions. So, we’re kind of screwed: we can’t ask questions when we don’t know something but we also can’t be wrong.
I would wager a very large sum of money I don’t even have that everybody who reads this or anything like it would agree that the idea is ludicrous. So now what?
Now, will you forgive yourself for being wrong? Even if others do not?
Will you ask questions so that you continue to learn and grow?
Will you forgive others for being wrong and give them the room to learn for themselves?
Telling someone something they don’t know doesn’t really help them much, unless they’re about to step on a live mine. Making it “easier” for someone doesn’t make anything easier. They don’t have he information through the experience or the muscle memory. Unless you’re willing to be with them for every second of every day, this might not be such a great idea.
Are you willing to stand up and be wrong?
I’ve heard it alot, “I’m willing to be wrong” – not so. “I’m willing to be wrong about stuff I know I know” is what has been proven in behavior. Assumption? Not exactly, but the line is a bit blurry. “I have no ego.” My knee jerk response is then how did you get out of bed this morning?!
At first, coming out of the wrong closet smacked the hell out of my ego. And it felt pretty lousy (it still does when it involves someone with whom I am not comfortable and safe). It was tempting to retreat into habitual behavior. Let’s not. After a time or two, it loses it’s sting and I found I could regain “normal” function much more quickly!